Elephant Stories

Elephant Spirituality - The Old Kudu

2009-07-06T02:44:00.000-07:00

It had been a week where the elephants had been in hiding. We had traveled the park extensively and apart from a few lone bulls here and there, the herds remained hidden.
It had been fairly cold, but this afternoon’s drive the sky was clearing, and through the broken clouds the sun was shining her warm rays, touching the deep green vegetation in that magic that has become so familiar to me here in the back valleys of the Addo Elephant National Park.

We had traveled down Marcel’s dip, down to the carcass and up through Desolation Valley, admiring along the way different birds all in high tune, various kudu, a small common duiker and a few warthogs. But we had had no luck with finding the elephants. I had just entered into Wayne’s Valley on the Gorah Elephant Camp concession from the western side, onto the small open clearing on the valley floor when he caught my eye. It was a huge, and very old kudu male, light grey with age, and incredibly luring. His horns were set so wide apart and so tall, that I knew in that second I had never before seen such an old and majestic kudu with such horns in all my time in Africa. He was incredibly handsome.

But apart from being old and light grey with age, there was something so alluringly attractive about this old male that caught my attention so deeply that I just longed to get a better glimpse of him. Unlike most of the kudu in Addo who run with the first glimpse of the vehicle, this old man stood, peering around the bush at us for what seemed like ages. There was a dying urge in his attraction, and I could not control the sense to want to see him any longer. Knowing in my heart that if I was caught going off road in Addo for a kudu it could mean my job, but I decided to take the chance and move a couple of meters inwards, to try and get a better view. Five meters in, the kudu walked out, almost as large as a small horse, and calmly moved up the gradual slope choosing to hide behind another bush. Again, the urge to see him closer forced me to start the engine and get a closer look.
Having now moved up the slope, the kudu stepped out, and stared at me. I could barely move to catch a photograph. As I switched off the engine, having finally got a good view at him, he decided to bolt, running into the thickness with the fitness of a two-year-old male, and in seconds he was gone.

In that brief moment, as I turned to see the situation I was in, I felt incredibly disappointed in myself for having chosen to follow him. And then came my answer. As I turned back to see my route out of the thorny scrub I was compelled to look to the horizon. And there, in the soft golden light, far up the western gorge of Wayne’s, stood some 120 elephants spread out and grazing. In great excitement I raced towards the herd to finally get a glimpse of the elephants we had been searching for days. Once we reached the herds I felt my whole being become alive at having finally found them. But it was only as the sun began to set behind their giant bodies, did I begin to realise the coincidence of finding them. Had the old kudu not lured me up those 50m off road I would never have caught the glimpse of them, I would have been too low. I knew in my heart there was something different about that old kudu the second I saw him, and when I tucked myself into bed that night and reflected on the day, I wondered for a brief second, if perhaps the spirituality of the elephants I love so much extends to all the creatures that live here. And then I thought, why not? Why not?

Facts on Elephants 3

2009-06-20T07:38:00.000-07:00

On average elephant cows fall pregnant around the age of ten years old, bearing in mind that they best concieve between the ages of 15 and 50 years old. In Addo a young cow was witnessed to fall pregnant at the young age of 8, which we think was a result of excellent weather conditions, good rain and plentiful food. Ironically a couple of years later, when drought took a grip on the Addo population, the herds were to experience a very high rate of miscarriages. It appears well known that Elephants breeding rates increase in conditions, and slack off in poor conditions.

Facts on Elephants 2

2009-06-20T07:31:00.000-07:00

Elephants have six sets of teeth during a lifetime. Elephants do not die from old age necessarily, but more from starvation. This is in relation to the length of time the teeth can last. An elephant's molars are replaced continuously throughout its lifetime, having been born with the first set in place and its second pair quickly on the way. The third molars erupt usually before the elephant calf is 5 years old, and by the time the elephant is in his fortieth year he is well into the fifth molars. When the sixth and final molars erupt into place the elephant will be on his last years, as while this last set crumbles and fragments as the others before it, it will become more diffucult to masticate, and slowly less and less nutrients will be made available to feed its giant body, and so sadly the indicate the beginning of a long and gradual death.

2009-06-20T07:15:00.000-07:00

Elephant Whispers: The Young Female Listens

2009-06-20T07:13:00.000-07:00

This story happened around 2003.

I am not too certain if this particular story counts as a spiritual moment, but it certainly was one of those strange coincidences. The National Parks had opened up the new section called Klein Vlak, near the railway line on the far northeastern border. Having had no elephants in this section for many years, the vegetation was obviously very luscious and thick, and because this was now available nearly three hundred of the parks elephants had come to this section, and were now seen in great herds spread out feeding ravishingly on all the new shrubs and grasses.

The herds spent day after day in this section, traveling in the hot day to the waters of Domkrag dam where they’d drink, only to return to this great feeding field at sunset where they’d spend the night.

It had been yet another of these hot days, and the herd had returned from Domkrag and had began to spread out again to feed. I don’t need to explain that awesome peace that settles over the Addo bush as the afternoon approaches evening and the sun begins to fall from the sky. It has always been my most favorite part of the day, and most commonly one finds the connection with mother earth at this time, when ones own mind is at peace after the day’s business with life.

We were settled with a small group who were peacefully grazing, and the silence of the bush had captured even the more talkative of the guests, and for a while we had slipped into silence listening intensely at the sounds of the herd feeding on the grass some fifty or so meters away.

It is often during these laps of silence that I find myself falling into the deep spiritual side of the elephant world, most times unconsciously, but today, I decided to try something on a different level. Consciously I focused my eyes on a youngish female, about 13 years old, and in my mind began to call her. She was doing nothing unusual to the rest of the herd, centered amongst them in typical elephant fashion, but for some reason, she was the one I focused on. Over and over in my head I called her, in a soft yet silent voice, asking her to come a little closer to me.

I must have sat some few moments calling her like this, not quite sure in myself if I expected a reply, after all, it was a rather unusual request. Still, I continued to call. My concentration though was briefly broken as a guest asked a question, and I began to answer her, moving away from the intensity with which I was trying to call the elephant. Satisfied with the answer, the guests lapsed into silence again, and I lost my original focus. Instead I turned my eyes to the setting sun, and fell into its grips of astounding beauty. Some minutes passed before I looked up, and the movement of an elephant nearby caught my attention. I gasped in astonishment when I realised who it was. The young female had approached my vehicle, away from the herd. She never did anything out of the ordinary. She only ate, moving eventually to within a meter from my door. She ate a while, until eventually the sun had set and it grew dark. I just sat staring at her, not quite sure what to say now that she’d approached. The sun set and darkness fell, and the young female returned to the herd. No one knew of the calling in my head, and I never spoke of it. Still I’m not so sure of the circumstances. Did the female indeed answer my intensive calls? She surely had moved away from the herd. Or was that just another really spot on coincidence?

2009-06-20T05:33:00.000-07:00

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Reply to question: Will the elephants get annoyed if too many people start communicating with them?

2009-06-07T07:54:00.001-07:00

Dearest Dawn

Thank you for such a beautiful email and your recognition of my feelings that I have chosen to share with the world about our very special Addo elephants.

To answer your question:
Over the years of "talking" to the elephants I have found that they are not in many ways dissimilar to humans in that each one has a personality. Just like we get on better with certain people who clickwith our personality type, so it is with the elephants.

My favourite elephant to talk to is definately Valli, the big bull elephant whom I have shared countless special moments with. And who I have written many stories on..more of which I will post soon.
At best, when I am on my own Valli never ever seems to tire of conversation. He elborates and at best goes into long detailed conversation, listening patiently to my questions, and guiding me to really think of the answers in the out of box unconventional way as supposed to what we have been taught to think.
Truly his conversations are incredible! However there are others who appear "not wanting to talk too much today" per say.

Personally on a whole, I have come to understand the elephants are the great guardians, and their souls are hundreds of years old, hence their wisdom and patience, they have had the time to understand how the universe works and how it is all interconnected. It is my feeling at large that they long to talk to us, and that thousands of peoplevisit them a day and never actually talk to them. I think they long for this conversation. Even if it is simply to marvel in the spectacle of nature!
I think it is the same of the trees and the birds and the flowers...they love touching our lives with beauty and I think it gives them so much pleasure to hear us talk in appreciation, or to comfort us when we feel sad. It is such a pure form of love.
Going back to the Addo elephants in particular, there is something remarkably special about this specific population. I have always got the feeling that they want us to just be with them for a while, to be a part of their lives even for just a brief moment. There are at times I find I can't help feeling that they "hang around" in places of people, when they have at length so much space to go into where they don't have to be surrounded by visitors. They put on such fantastic displays for us I sometimes get the feeling they love the joy they create on the faces of those that watch them, even if not all are engaging in spiritual conversation (afterall its strange act to many young souls), just the pleasure they create in their viewers is enough for them.

On another angle, I feel that they are like us, there are moments when they appear "more spitiual" than others. Being spiritual yourself you may identify when there are moments when you feel you somewhat lift off the ground in your spiritual space..where you feel you so easily connect with the earth and her beautiful company. Then there are other days where you feel hassled by lifes pressures, perhaps some days where you are lost or angry about something. I think the elephants are the same, and while we are all spiritual creatures, it does not mean we want to engage in indepth conversation of philosophy or deep things all the time, but to just enjoy the sun on our backs or simply be irritated for a while.

I find there are some elephants that seem to be more spiritual than others (especially the old ones) and the best time to "talk" to the elephants are when they are peacefully grazing or browsing, and often if they are alone for a moment. It is often those moments when they appear to be lost in thought, and are easier to engage in good conversation with. Trying to talk to an elephant who is focused on a oestrus female or having a great mud bath for example is like trying to chat the guys during the rugby match...they are full of fun and jovial comments rather than anything serious and very involved in their own lives at that moment.

I have found, or I believe, that there is a time when the sun sets every evening when the elephants all go extremely calm, and I believe they stop and praise the sunset in this hour. This is the best time to talk to them. It is easy to engage in spiritual wonder in this hour.
Also on those lazy spring and autumn mornings when the flowers are in bloom, is when I have had my best conversations with Valli.
I think at large its all a very personal thing. Elephants perhaps don't talk as much as guide us, and essentially are what I like to call the Great Grey mirrors of ourselves. They really reflect what we are within. I have often been accused of anthropromorphism, putting human qualities onto animals, but when you watch them and spend time with them, even the amateur can see that there is love amongst these animals, apart from other emotions and indeed we have so much to learn from them.

When journeying to see the elephants and wanting to spend time with them I advise to choose your timing carefully. Try go on your own into the Park to be quiet and still when you do catch a moment to be aroundthem and view them. While guided game drives etc in the Park are fantastic to learn about the elephants and facts of the Park, there is often not enough silence to engage with the animals spiritually, and simply enjoy their company and experience them rather than just watch them. A self drive for this is always the way forward. Keep in mind the rules of the Park though, as wild elephants are still just that,wild elephants, and your safety is still paramount and elephants despite being spiritual also have grumpy days. Allow your gut to guide you into which aura is more trusting and which elephants need a bitmore space for the day.

Never try touch the animals, or approach too closely (which some people think is what the art of my communication is, please this is not the case). Alot of spiritual conversations are best when there is a comfortable distance, and the conversation happens within your heart, and not with outward body language, so you do not need to be close to them to hear this reflection in yourself.
Trust the thoughts you hear flowing into your head...it is their voice. It took me a long time to trust this.
Gorah Elephant Camp, a private concession within the Park, bases an incredible amount on experiencing the bush from the spiritual aspect, and in a safe environment to do so. I have had so many people connecting with the elephants simply by sitting on that verandah. However Gorah is a very expensive place, and one does not have to be there to feel and experience the amazing stories the elephants long to share with us. I was just lucky to be at the spiritual gateway of the place for many years and live among the elephants, giving me so much time to learn how best to comminucatewith them.
There are many adverts on my blogs suggesting camps around Addo which you could stay at for a low price, (or see my other site www.photosbynicolaschwim.blogspot.com) and still get out there on your own, which is the best if you can't afford a place like Gorah. Although perhaps it is a must do once in your lifetime place.

When you are next visitng Addo please get in touch and I would be happy to tell you of the elephants movements and where you are likely to find them, as if you dont know you can drive around the park for hours and not see them, their movements within the park are rather specific to weather patterns going on at the time, and this knowledge comes from years of working in and knowing the Park. Alternatively you could call the elephants from your heart the night before, and ask them to meet you. I have learnt that they often answer this call if it is genuine, and you believe they can hear you.
Another thing I have learnt on my travels since leaving Gorah this past year, is that you can communicate with elephants even when you can't see them, miles away from your home, or theirs.

So to answer your question, will they feel disturbed if loads more people come to talk to them, no, I dont think so...I think they would welcome a good fresh conversation!!!

Hope to chat and share your stories soon again.
Lots of Love
Nics

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2009-06-05T07:52:00.000-07:00

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2009-06-05T07:49:00.000-07:00

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Dates on my posts!

2009-06-05T03:11:00.000-07:00

Hello friends and followers!
I have been notified by my readers that I am confusing you all with the date relevance of my posts, and I must apologise for this. I have been writing as I remember my stories which have occurred over a ten year period. At first I was aware but not convinced of elephant spirituality and over the years it was through these various encounters that I became convinced...so that will have relevance on the story and how each moment touched me, and ultimately grew to my growth in discovering a sense of elephant spirituality.

In future I will place a year relevance to the particular story so you may place it better. They will be a bit higgildy piggidly as I write from when I remember the story...but hopefully by inserting a date reference it will help make more sense to those of you who know my life story closely.
Thank you for your support, and please feel free to drop comments, I love seeing your interaction on my sites.
Check out http://www.photosbynicolaschwim.blogspot.com/ for new photograph posts I have put there recently.
Would love to hear from you, so please don't stop writing!
Enjoy your day, Love Nics

Facts on Elephants 1

2009-06-05T03:00:00.000-07:00

The scientific name of the African elephant is Loxidonta africana. It belongs to the family Proboscidea which was coined by the naturalist Carl D, Illiger at the beginning of the nineteenth century from the Greek words pro for 'forward' or 'in front of', and boskein meaning 'to feed' or 'mouth'. (Illustrated Encyclopedia of Elephants) which really goes on to suggest exactly at is, that this magnificent animal simply feeds with its nose!

The trunk is a combination of the upper lip and the nose, hence the two prehensile tips on the end of its trunk. The related Asian Elephant, only has one prehensile tip, but the trunk remains an extension of the same source.

Elephant Spirituality: Elephant Ghosts Five Years In

2009-06-02T00:46:00.002-07:00

There came a time with the Elephants where no more doubt entered into my mind. There was infinitely and definitely a superb connection with these special creatures, and I reached a point where thinking about talking to elephants no longer raised any questions within me. I just spoke to them.
In my head the answers to the questions I asked them, or the conversations I had with them would be clear and descriptive, and mostly, would make more sense than us humans sometimes do.

I would at times enter into long conversations with Valli. I would talk about work, or my plans, or my feelings about a particular incident or person. I spoke to him about life, my life, and in turn he would speak to me about his. I found in these times that Valli in particular would love indulging in these in-depth conversations. It was as though for me I had befriended a guru, a mentor, a philosopher, and when talking to him I often thought of Merlin in the Disney’s story of the Sword and the Stone, how this little boy befriended a wizard, and how this wizard, through enchanting stories and lessons, taught young Arthur the very real essence of life. Valli M for me was like my Merlin, and everyday I discovered more. More about him, more about the elephants, more about life, and mostly, more about myself.

One day Valli was standing alone feeding on the sweet grasses of the open field. It had been raining a lot, but today the sky was blue, and surrounding him and the cruiser I was in was a field of bright yellow flowers. It was a perfect setting to the say the least, and mostly very beautiful and peaceful. I decided to have a chat to him.

“Valli” I said, in deep thought. You are said to be such wise and intelligent creatures. How is it then that you stand here all day in this field and just eat? If you were so wise and intelligent, how is it that you are not busying yourself with something far more important? I did not mean my question to be derogatory, it was just a question and Valli seemed to understand it this way.

What, he said to me, could possibly be more important at this time than enjoying the blue sky and these very special yellow flowers that have taken so much time to bloom and grace us with such beauty he simply replied?
So I replied. Valli the flowers are always here, and we see them and they are beautiful, but there are so much other things to do as well.
That he said, is where you humans may well be wrong and I have never understand you for. These flowers will never be the same as you see them now. They have taken so much energy and time and intricate conditions to bloom in this way. The universe has brought today together like this, for us to enjoy, and instead you keep worrying what will happen to you tomorrow. Tomorrow more flowers will bloom, and the warthogs will build a new home and the blossoms of the Schotia will fade, but you never take time to see them. That is what us elephants do, we take time to spend with the most important things of all.

Valli I said, you are very wise.

After a while of silence I said again to Valli, ever patient as he was….do you think anything while you stand here and enjoy the flowers of the day Valli. Not so much he replied. But I love to sing, and before you came along to join me here I was singing a specific song that my mother taught me when I was just a calf.
I let him speak as I could see it was important to him.

Long ago he told me, it was a day when the rains had been and the grass of was long and luscious and green. There were many of us in the herd he said, and many young boys had been born to the great mothers that year. We were all stood around enjoying the freshness of the grass, and as it is today, the sun was shining, and everything was peaceful. He stood close to his mother, he said, I can still feel her gentle but giant legs brushing against my hide, she had so much love, he said. And as we stood she began teaching me a song. 500 verses it had. She taught me each word diligently, and I recall her heart being so happy as she sang it. Before long her sister, my close aunt, who was just four years younger than my mother, gave into the same song, and before long all the great mothers of the herd had joined in, and here we all enjoyed the chorus of their voices as we placed in the grass.

I never forgot that song he said. And today, as I enjoyed the memory, I was singing that song. What verse were you on then valley. And confidently he replied, three hundred and thirty eight. After a pause of silence he said, but no two versus are the same.

Quite a hefty song I thought. It is isn’t it he replied….I smiled, as I had not said a word to him.

I sat a while there in silence looking at the flowers and the blue sky and watching Valli tug away at the grass which always fascinated me, the rhythm and consistency of what he did was timeous, ancient in a way. I watched his giant body, all the definitions, the mud caked dry on his wrinkles, the specks of dry mud on his eyelashes and his eyelids have dropping closed in the afternoon sun. After a while he spoke again.

Nicola, may ask you a question. Certainly I replied, quite chuffed that the wise old man would seek an answer from someone like me.
When you rangers and guides are on your game drive, bringing the guests to see us and show us off he said, you often tell them that elephants have poor eyesight, why is this.

Taken a bit aback by such a simple question I replied, well Valli, most of our text books and lecturers say your eyes sight is not so good. In reason I would say you have small eyes in relation to your body, long eyelashes which must certainly blur your vision, and you seem at times not to always acknowledge that you know we’re there until the wind turns and you catch our smell. Therefore we assume your eyesight is poor. Why Valli, is this not true.
He paused a while before he spoke ad then replied, why is it that one must physically see something with ones eye to have seen it?
Taken aback again and slightly confused, I said Valli I am not so sure I know what you’re talking about.
Well he said, just because a Heron flies over my head, why do I have to physically look up and see that it’s a heron to have known it was a heron.
Well how else would you tell Valli.
The third eye, he replied. Most of us elephants have a third eye. Some of us use it better than others, but even the weakest of us know about a third eye. He says we can feel the heron’s energy, we know it is a heron, just as we know and feel that you are there. It’s a feeling of presence, a knowing, and a seeing of perception, of intuition.
He paused a while giving me time to soak this in. Before he continued…you humans too have a third eye, and yet some many of you have chosen to close this up. But don’t think because you have chosen not to use yours, that elephants don’t. IN fact he says, with the clarity of a third eye, our eye sight is in fact probably way superior to your own.
Just a fact, he said, before moving on a few meters to graze at a different patch of grass, leaving me to think a while.
I simply smiled.

We sat a long while then, in silence, enjoying the company of something that we both knew was far greater than us as individuals or beings. Valli I knew understood this relationship better than I ever would, but he seemed to be content with a lot of my ignorance and accepted it this way. I think he knew that I knew of it now, this special bond, but that I wasn’t always entirely sure of what or how to think of it. He let that be. And mostly I just chose the plain of enjoying being with him as that’s what I understood the most.

After a long while of silence Valli turned to me and said “I’ll be on my way soon” thank you for coming to chat a while. And one more thing he said, Go back to the water that scares you so much. And with that he lifted his head, swirled his trunk a bit, and began heading north. I didn’t ask him where he was off to. It didn’t matter. But left in my head were these words of simple instruction which I didn’t understand Go back to the waters that scare you he had said.

It took me a few days to finally figure out what Valli was talking about. It had been years since I had been down to the old dam on the wagon routes at night.
The story went back a few years to my first night drive at this place. The dam was a small pool of natural water which seeped up from a spring below ground, one of the few natural sources of its nature left in these parts due to dropping water tables from farming activities in the broader region. I had traveled down here one night looking for something interesting to show my guests. We stopped at the pools edge briefly to have a look around, and I had switched the engine off to listen to the peaceful night and view the stars a bit.
The pool was rather eerie and quiet, but still we sat there.
It was not long before I grew rather quickly uncomfortable by the space I was in. I was not sure if anyone else had felt it and I chose not to say anything either. It was almost like a gripping unpleasantness, and the peace was no longer as peaceful as I had first thought it would be. Growing more uncomfortable and not liking the feeling, even though there was nothing to attribute to this, I decided to start the car and leave, without saying anything.

Years before in the early days of my career I had experienced a near close experience at night when a leopard had nearly taken me off the vehicle. It was gut instinct that had warned me that night and had ultimately saved my life and since then I had always chosen to listen to that uncomfortable feeling and obey it, and tonight was no exception, even though I never got to the root of my discomfort.

I had quickly forgotten about that night and a few weeks later had owed it off to being a new area and somewhat feeling out of place. Admittedly it took me some time to venture again there after dark. By day the place was completely different. Peaceful, though strangely not a lot of animal activity, it always seemed strangely barren for such a pretty spot. And I would venture there by day often to watch a few waterfowl, but always felt the estrangeness of the place.

One night again on night drive I decided to venture there again, wondering if the same feelings of the first night visit would still be apparent. Entering the small secretive place cautiously I found it to be peaceful and was happy to switch off the engine and listen to the night sounds. I never mentioned to my guests my feelings or thoughts.
Again in hit me quickly, and I grew uncomfortable and restless. I started the engine, and left, never returning there at night again.

By day and over the years I would think about this very noticeable and uncomfortable feeling at this place by night, and yet by day I was never uncomfortable by being there.
Through the years I discovered many interesting things about the place. Firstly about it natural water, then the wagon routes that passed so closely to it, and the large erosion site filled with ancient tools of the Stone Age people who had been active here for thousands of years. My thoughts spread on from all sorts of things, like perhaps it being a place for quick graves on the wagon routes, as many people dies along the routes, and this was a place to stop and out span, let the cattle drink and rest before moving on. I thought about witches, perhaps using this place and creating the estranged feeling here. I thought about the Stone Age, I thought about possible murders…anything and everything came to mind, but they always remained a mystery. The simple fact stood place for many years for me, I would be happy to venture to this place both on a vehicle and walking by day, but at night you would not find me anywhere near it. On top of this, I seldom spoke of me fears here, but let them be.

Now, years later, Valli was asking me to return to the waters. I did not head his request straight away though, and left it a long time, before things started to make sense.

It started late one night at about two o clock in the morning under a moonlit night. I had been out to the pub to meet with some friends in the local town, and it was late and I was tired. Cruising down the small twin track road heading home, something caught my eye and I looked left only to catch a fleeting glimpse of what very clearly appeared to be a big hazy image of an elephant. He was huge though, with great tusks. But as I looked again it was gone. I thought I was losing my mind, and thought I may well be tired and not too well, so didn’t think of it again, I was simply “seeing things”.

I didn’t think about this so called elephant that I had seen for some time again, until in exactly the same way a couple of weeks later, also late at night and weary, no walls or guards up, in exactly the same place down a embankment about 30 meters off the road, and not thinking about it at all, this large white elephant caught me eye again. This time I was able to hold my gaze in the few seconds that it lasted, and could clearly see that what I had seen weeks before was right. It was a huge male tusker elephant, a hazy white form, almost ghost like, and instantly it took my breath away. Traveling at a speed, I stopped, reversed the vehicle and looked again, but I saw nothing, and again thought no I am tired, it’s an illusion, but the thought that it was in exactly the same place as before lingered in my mind for days.

Weeks went by again, and the sighting of the old elephant ghost become more apparent and more real every time I drove past late at night. He was definitely there, in the spirit of the night, in the same place. When I braved the courage to stop and look for him properly, I saw very clearly what he was. There was no doubt in my mind it was an elephant ghost, and he just simply lingered there. He held the biggest tusks I had ever seen, and he was calm and silent, but he did nothing. I would try at time to speak to the old ghost, sometimes a little scared in myself I admit, but he never said a word, and he remained a stranger. I just knew he was there.

After a while I grew peaceful with the old ghost. It got so that I would even look for him every time I went past, slowing down to greet him. Every time I saw him it would be the same, he never spoke to me, he never answered me, he just lingered there.

A couple of weeks later, and never mentioning this to anyone, I was driving a late night after dropping staff off with a colleague, Hein, who had somewhat grown interested in my tales of the spiritual world of the elephants. I did not mention the host to him, but it was clear on this night, while traveling, down closer to the lodge, that the same second caught our eye and a blurred vision whizzed passed us on our right hand side. Instantly I knew it was another ghost elephant. It was smaller and younger than the great bull, but it was definitely a ghost. My breath caught and I said to Hein, did you see that. He replied in silence, I don’t know exactly what it was, but I definitely saw something.
I knew then in my own heart, what I was seeing was true.

I was not scared of suddenly seeing elephant ghosts, but I did think about it all the time. Why were they there. Why were they showing themselves to me? Why could I so suddenly see them?

A couple of nights later I again, tired and weary from a long days work, was on my way home from the lodge to where I stayed barely 2km from the lodge. I wasn’t really thinking of anything but getting to bed, least of all anything about elephants. I was driving quite slowly and as about to take the left turn into my driveway I saw him standing clear as day on the right hand side of the road beside a large sweet thorn tree.
I stopped the car, and the vision stayed. It was the most beautiful and handsome Elephant I had ever seen. His tusks were so long and curved that he had to lift his head up to stop them dragging on the ground. His body was huge, much bigger than Valli, and my breath caught in my throat again. And then, just like that he was gone, and I thought that’s it, I am going crazy.

It was shortly after this meeting that I was turning more away from game drives and into lodge management in my career. I felt in a lot of ways that I was losing the plot, and that seeing elephant ghosts was now going a bit too far. Still in this way I was not scared of them. I came to know the big bull at the turn of my driveway, but still he never said anything to me, he was only ever there late at night, silent and for me the feeling of incredible loneliness, like h was wandering the earth aimlessly. I wondered why, if the elephants are so spiritual that they lingered, that if they were ghosts as I understood them, why they were here, why they hadn’t “crossed over” as so many would say. I often thought I was now taking this whole spiritual thing just a bit far…but still the ghosts stayed, and still I saw them. I decided it was time to have a chat with Valli again.

It was another lazy afternoon when I found him near my house. The wind was up and he had come to find shelter in the thick shrub that surrounds my house. He busied himself with pulling up the spike thorn plants about 10m off my verandah, shaking the soil of the roots bit by bit before putting them slowly and deliberately into his mouth. I had the morning off and had spent the day at home, peaceful in the small confines of my happy house. It was nice to be alone and somehow I thought it strange how he knew it was time to chat.

I sat on the stairs leading off my verandah and greeted my faithful friend, telling him briefly of the things I had done. He didn’t say anything, patient in my waffling on until I got to the point. His endless stream of patience never ceased to amaze me.

Tell me about the ghosts Valli, I said at last.

Valli amused me for some time then. He told me of Elephant Heaven. Of how there is a large great tusker in the sky that they all see. Strangely I thought, though I didn’t interrupt him, how they referred to this big tusker as The Great She. It was the place they journey to in the afterlife, where they get to roam peaceful eternity in long grass and bountiful rivers and large trees. Elephants he said, mostly just want to enjoy nature, without the threats of man, and environmental extremes. That, he said, is their heaven.
He went in to great detail, telling me of the tusks that is their white gold, how much they value them, and what it means to them. When an elephant dies without its tusks, he said, they don’t get to go to the Elephant in the Sky. He was sad, and deliberate in his words. Every elephant, he said, no matter how old, deserves to die with his tusks in place. It is very sad when the elephants are left to roam here, because they were robbed of their tusks. The Great Ghosts you see, are these very elephants I speak of.

I was silent for a long long time as Valli spoke to me, sinking in every word, never having dreamed how much more it meant to the elephants than just the fear of being poached or culled or killed by us for their teeth. How absurd I thought. How sick we are. How little we truly understand.

After a long time in silence this way, Valli continuing to eat slowly off the roots of his spike thorns, I asked him, Valli, why do the ghosts stay here, why don’t they cross over…and more what can I do to help them, why do I see them.
Valli took a deep breath in and replied, the voice clear in my head though nothing else suggesting even the slightest hint that we were bound together in such a deep conversation. Nicola, he said, there is nothing you can do, they roam forever, and for eternity, it is the way it is. You see them because at last your third eye has come to be. You are trusting your intuition now, you are believing that which you know is there.

They never talk to me, I said to Valli, somewhat hurt by this since I could talk to all the elephants. They won’t, he replied. There are no more words to be said, everything has been said already.

I thought a while longer and my inquisitiveness asked again. Do they speak to you Valli, and to the other elephants. NO he said. We know they are there and we see them, but they never say anything. As I have said, everything that needs to be said, has already been said, a long long time ago.

How old are they, I asked him. Old he said. Older, much older than me. And that was where he left it.

After a while my heart lightened and I started chatting to Valli about less deep and less intense things about what I was up to. He was patient again with these things, somehow knowing all he had said to me was taking time to sink in, and he seemed okay with this.

As it was time nearing for me to go, Valli stood still a while as though wanting to say something. And then as in turn to go, he simply said, Go back to the waters that scare you, you have not yet been.

I had kind of like hoped he’d forgotten this by now…stupid as that seemed I suddenly thought. Like an elephant would forget…especially Valli. But why would he want me to go there, it was only a place that I didn’t understand, that scared me. It felt as though it wasn’t mine to understand. Still, I thought, he has always known best, maybe its time to go back there.

I organized a week later to take a vehicle and head back to the scary waters sometime after dark. I was alone, and rather afraid, but I knew that Valli would expect me to face it, to go and see. I was unsure of what I would find there, but still I braced myself and drove down to the waters.

At first nothing happened, and then slowly the strange feeling started creeping up on me again. I stayed with it, knowing I had to face it to see the truth behind it. Suddenly, it was clear. There in the brade of the bushes I saw an elephant. A hazy white elephant, a ghost like creature. I looked again, and noticed it was a large cow, with two simple and small but elegant tusks that pointed slightly outwards. Her ghost became clear and she stood there. Then another apparition came. It was a small calf at her side. A young bull, maybe three or four years old, the tusk buds not so big, stretching out from his face already, round and stub like. Behind them came another cow, also with tusks, then another and another. Calves around their feet, sullen, and so typically ghost like. But that’s weird I thought, these female elephants in this area don’t have tusks, yet all these females have tusks. The silence urged me to sit still lest the apparition would disappear. I watched intensely and listened, awaiting patiently the truth that I knew would soon emerge from what I was seeing.

Before long, a herd of about twenty ghosts surrounded the small waters. It was the first time I had seen so many ghosts and so clearly. They seemed so sad. And then it hit me. It was not the scariness of it all that freaked me out and had done for so long. It was the intense and overwhelming feeling of sadness. Suddenly Valli’s words rang true in my head. These elephants had all died without their tusks. They couldn’t go to the Great She in the Sky, they were here roaming for all eternity, with nothing left to say. They had been killed here in a place where they loved and were peaceful, bonded in their love, which I had learnt so truly exists among them in every way imaginable. I wanted to reach out and touch them, but it was not my world, I was merely a viewer. Tears welled up in my eyes and streamed down my face. The elephant ghosts, the white gold, the great she in the sky. It became too much. I started the engine, and I drove away.

As I drove I cursed myself for being crazy, to have taken this so far and have gotten so emotionally involved. It was going to far and I needed to stop. Everything was in my head and I was imagining it all. Valli was just another elephant, and it couldn’t be so. Why had I allowed my imagination to go so far.

I drove in fury, back home, without thought, without a glance at the sky, angry for allowing myself to be led so off course. This is not what I studied, this is not what working in the field was all about. Least of all what would people say if I started talking about this. I felt angry with Valli, I felt angry with myself. And everything, all of it was shut out immediately.

Valli was standing outside my house again when I woke up the next morning but I didn’t greet him and neither did he greet me. He simply stood there and I felt angry with him. He didn’t say a thing. I tried to get passed him, it was time to get to work. Move I said to him, impolitely and with disrespect. Patiently as ever, he moved aside and watched me pass, I felt guilty at once but tried to ignore.

He came down to the lodge a couple of hours later, and I came out to watch him drink at the waterhole, his magnificent reflection a perfect image in the pool water. A mirror. That was it. Valli was simply a mirror to all and everything that was within me.

10 000 Elephants Points and Figure Charting

2009-05-30T06:58:00.000-07:00

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Wildlife Moments:

2009-05-30T05:28:00.000-07:00

If you wish to view more of my photographs please feel free to take a look at

http://photosbynicolaschwim.blogspot.com/

I would welcome your comments and thoughts.

Many Thanks

Nicola

Elephant Spirituality: We can talk to Elepahnts, Skukuza's Warning

2009-05-30T05:23:00.000-07:00

I have not seen Skukuza ever be as angry with me as on this day. Growing confident on the fact that there might be some possibility that I could talk to the elephants I set off to Rhino Plains to see if this possibility might hold some truth. The first elephant we saw was Skukuza, the large Kruger Bull Elephant who had recently been introduced into the Addo Park to help with new blood. Now posed with only two guests, the lady of which is encouraging me to speak in my mind to the elephants. There is no doubt that part of me at this time feels rather stupid, as I still don’t believe in this venture entirely. Nevertheless, I begin to speak to the animal who is at this time still rather tightly poised in the thicket of the tree line.

Not quite certain of what it is I’m supposed to be saying I attempt to ask the creature to kindly come out of the thicket so that we can see him a little better. It doesn’t surprise me that the huge elephant continues to eat and ignores me. Try a little harder the lady says to me, and believe that you can. There is only one way to make such things possible she says, you have to believe that you can reach him with your mind.

With nothing to lose and always eager to try a new dimension with the elephant world, I close my eyes and in my mind begin to urge the elephant to come a little closer. I believe with all my heart. I open my eyes, and focus on him, pulling him in with my mind. I am utterly shocked that he stops eating from the trees, and walks directly to the vehicle.

I have not before this time ever experienced Skukuza so close to me. I was nervous with his closeness because before I had understood him to be a little unpredictable, especially with the recent translocation from his last home in the Kruger to here. As he emerged from the tree line heading towards us the light of the morning sun struck his tusk so beautifully. I forgot all the power, the luring him, and reached for my camera at once. I focused eagerly; his giant body now only meters away, and before long, captured the frame with a beautiful click of the camera. As it sounded, I realized I’d made a mistake.
Skukuza trumpeted loudly at me, shaking his head so that the dust on his body filled the surrounding air. He stood poised a while, ears out and in a threatening stance. A few seconds later, he paced steadily into the bush, and disappeared.

I couldn’t help the feeling of shame fill me. It is about using something so powerful to exploit him. I never knew I would be capable of such an insult to such a fine creature.

It took me months to regain my trust with Skukuza, a secret I kept to myself for long after. It was only towards the end of the year I began to capture photographs of Skukuza again at close proximity. Skukuza also never responded to my call again as the other elephants did. Months later, the distance between us closed, and Skukuza quietly snuck into my heart and lies amongst my favorites of the Elephant personalities I have now come to know.

Elephant Spirituality: Avryl at the Reedbed

2009-05-26T07:55:00.000-07:00

Avryl at the Reed bed

In most camps situated far from anywhere a natural sewage system exists whereby all water is returned back into the earth via what we call a Reed bed system. This means that at the end of the septic tank system, the used water is passed through a large flower bad type effect in which reeds are planted to draw up excess minerals and the water that passes through it and out the other side is deemed clean to pass back into a natural system albeit mineral rich.
It is this exact system that we have at Gorah, and on this really hot day of 45 degrees Celsius I was working at the last septic tank just before the reed bed.

It was late afternoon, and not following my usual schedule of being on drive with guests in the field, I had decided to stay behind and flush out the system a bit. I had extended a hosepipe down from the lodge about 200m and there I was duly ‘watering’ down the tank. I had said word to a manager in the lodge that I where I was and added to please keep an eye on me as firstly we do not have fences around the camp, and secondly it was a hot day and elephants had been around the lodge a good part of the day. As the camp was open planned with plains al round there was no sign of elephants at the moment, but since the waterhole was nearby the thought passed that a bull might pass on his way to the waterhole, and so I asked the Manager to just keep checking on me.

Now I must just explain that on such an afternoon the peace at Gorah is something out of this world. The soft light settles a golden green-yellow glow on the bush surrounding, and the antelope are all scattered about, eating peacefully (we had no large predators at the time) as though all of time does not exist. Te soft breeze blows off the ocean from 40km away and cools the hot day with a lazy feel of completion, and the wind tickles the leaves of the giant Belhambre tree off the veranda reminding us of secrets of youth and innocence and the feeling that real life exists, a time that touches the soul really.
Now one must imagine this setting oozing into the mind of any person there at the time, be you guest or worker, and this state is how I was while watering the reed bed.

Lost in peaceful thought and day dream I suddenly herd a slight scuffing noise behind me, and slowly turning to look around over my shoulder gasped as the sight of ninety elephants stood, dead still, but clumped beneath the shade of the only fig tree that stood in the near vicinity, which now happened to be about forty meters from where I stood. My body froze in disbelief. I hadn’t heard a thing.
Standing now with the fresh water running from the hose in my hand onto the dry earth a million thoughts running through my head but my body moving as though in slow motion I figured in that split second of realisation that this was it, and I was now about to die, trampled to death by ninety elephants.
Every thought of my training and experience with breeding herds of elephants screamed in my head that to be standing totally exposed to ninety of them with no means of escape meant sure death. Wild elephant mothers are not known for their leniency, and yet I hadn’t heard a thing! It was not my intention.

In the meantime, the scuff I had herd was an Elephant I recognised as Avryl. She was the matriarch of this herd, which was known at the time to be the biggest herd in the park. She had moved forward from her herd as they stood relieved in the shade to come closer and investigate this somewhat silly human who stood with fresh water running from her hand. For some reason I cannot explain, the second I realised it was Avryl I felt immediately calmer. Something deep within me recognised this elephant, and she had not hurt me before in a moment when I thought I was in trouble. A part of me hung on to the fact that I might know her, and worse perhaps trust her. I had no choice, this trust and this faith, in this moment was the only protection I had.

After what seemed a world of silence, I began to talk to Avryl. Now it might seem strange in saying I spoke to Avryl, but voice shaking I simply began to say who I was and what I was doing there. I was the only person there to judge, but it seemed to me in the instant that I started to talk, Avryl began to relax. Her body language seemed less threatening, her ears waved slightly in the wind, but she didn’t hold an aggressive pose, I didn’t feel in that second that I was going to die anymore. In fact, it began to dawn on me that I was experiencing and an amazing powerful moment. I was connecting with an animal of the universe, it was as though she knew me, and I her, and on this dawning, I was no longer afraid, and instead began to enjoy my conversation with her.

I must have spent some time with Avryl in this moment. It is a feeling I cannot express in words, to be standing meters away from a wild elephant matriarch and knowing that there is in that brief moment a peaceful existence. I stuffed the hosepipe end into the tank, so as not to tease her with the cool water on the hot day that I know she had come to seek out from the waterhole in front of the lodge.
And then, she grumbled.. The typical elephant purr that emits from their throat like a giant cats purring in pleasure. I felt the rumble of her call throughout my entire being. It was like being covered in a blanket as the hairs on my arms felt tickled and my blood moved quickly up my neck and into my head. I could feel the ground shake, so that my whole body shuddered in the vibration from the earth and I could never imagine a single sound having so much physical reaction on a body.
With this call her family responded, and as though in some fairy tale book or fantastic film, each of her family members walked towards her and beside me. Ninety elephants, one by one in single file walked passed me and on their way to the waterhole. They passed barely thirty meters to my side, small babies kept on their mothers opposite side, running at times to keep up with the cows’ huge stride. And their silence intrigued me. Before me Avryl stood like a queen, watching me, but seemingly peaceful. She seemed so proud of her family. What seemed like a lifetime of a joy that filled me like ecstasy to every bone and corner of my body, the single file of elephants passed and moved on up the water. Avryl was the last to leave. She steeped forward two paces, causing my heart to triple its rate of beating in my chest so that the thumping shook my whole body. And then she grumbled again. “Thank you Avryl” was all I said, below my breath so that she probably could barely hear it, and then she walked off on her way, joining her family at the waterhole and leaving me speechless by a moment I will never forget.

(Xanda –the manager, had seen the elephants walking passed me and raced to grab a vehicle to come ‘rescue me’ in the interim. Once she saw what was happening with Avryl she held back until the herd had passed. She too could not believe what she had witnessed, and I was grateful for her decision in waiting back, as it might have changed the trust of the elephants I was experiencing at that moment! It was a day we both spoke about many times over.)

Elephant Spirituality: A Small Coincidence on Rhino Plains

2009-05-17T00:06:00.000-07:00

It had been the most gorgeous afternoon out on drive. Several guests who accompanied me relished in the joyous afternoon, and the sights and sounds of the magical bush that had surrounded us.
We had been lucky with our sightings so far, and had been blessed with some awesome moments. Still, somehow, nothing still struck me as a sighting of Valli himself. I had quickly grown to love the sight of the magnificent bull and the tinge of excitement and security I always felt when I saw him. And so, rounding on Rhino Plains past Rangers Rest I was delighted at catching a glimpse of him on the far tree line.

IN the afternoon light his tusks shone like white gold, and he grazed peacefully, seemingly unaware that we were there. It was quite a distance from where he stood to where we were stopped on the small dusty twin tracks that leads through the open plain. And in a small way I was a little disappointed that we couldn’t get a closer view of him. While we had the authority to drive off the tracks to view animals, we tried always at best to do this with the most sensitivity, and therefore only ventured off track when the necessity really arose. As much as I wanted to see Valli closer, nothing really warranted the need to go off road to see him. We had seen several other elephants, and despite him being at a little distance, we could see him quite clearly. The guests never even seemed to notice the distance and were enjoying him all the same.

After a little while of watching the great bull, I told the guests how this was just the most magnificent bull I knew. I explained how he had come from the Kruger only very recently, and the role it was hoped he would play on the new herds. A fine specimen he was for this we all agreed. We chatted about translocation, about the Kruger, his old home, and about the journey here. In a way, as we spoke, I felt a pang of loneliness for this poor animal. I tried to console myself with the ever famous anthropomorphism, but watching his face and the way his head held all droopy, and couldn’t but help feeling the way I did. I sat in silence a while and spoke to him in my head. I offered him comfort, and said this place was really not so bad, and that before long he’d settle in. Somewhat rather stupidly, I told him that I would be around if ever he wanted to chat. I then complimented him on his beauty once again, his majesty, his beautiful presence. And then I started saying, still in my mind, how I would really love it if he would come closer as I really enjoyed being closer to him.
With that instance Valli stopped eating, he stood two seconds a while as if in thought, and then strolled easily and directly, without any severe purpose but rather just a casual approach, he came directly towards the vehicle.
At first my joys were lifted at once as we were going to get a closer look. I didn’t think twice about the fact that I had asked him to come, I simply just went on the thought that this is where he was now going, and we were lucky to be just in that route.
Valli came closer and closer as I under training and know how readied myself in case the large animal should become unpredictable towards us. But he was completely calm. I still threw over in my mind again and again the warnings we experienced from the authorities about the behaviour of the Kruger Bulls, and the closeness we were allowed with them. But again all gut took over. Valli was as calm as anything, and if anything else, all I really wanted to do was be near him.
He strolled over humbly, head held low, looking down, and promptly stopped near us to begin feeding again. I was delighted.
We stayed with him for ages in that way, and all the time I continued to speak to him in my mind. It had really felt that he was enjoying the company. Even the guests commented on it. Everyone loved Valli, and he was no doubt the high light of the drive.
As the sun set lower and lower in the sky, all time seemed to stand still as we sat alongside the old peaceful bull. If only he could talk, I thought, he would have a million stories to tell. If only, I thought, if only.

We left Valli on the plains in the same spot a few hours later, and headed back for the camp feeling inspired after such an awesome drive. I was happy to the hilt, I had seen my elephant, and I had seen him close. It was amazing the footprint he left on me.

Elephant Spirituality: Growing in Peace

2009-05-17T00:03:00.000-07:00

It took many weeks after that first encounter with young bull elephant for me to begin stringing peaces of my spiritual world together. My life at first was overwhelmed with being surrounded by the Gorah Elephant Camp and its beautiful setting. I was awed by all the surrounded me those first few months, from the grassy plains and the rare Stanley’s Bustard. The intriguing sightings of Caracal, Jackal Puppies, Aardvark and the birth of the red hartebeest on the rehabilitating plains. I became intrigued with all that the elephants home consisted of. The myriad of plants and vegetation types, their unique adaptations and the way the water came and left the land and how all life responded to its presence and its absence.
And as all this consumed my world, the elephants watched. Patient as though they’d waited for my arrival for years, and another few months wasn’t going to make a difference.

I found myself enjoying their company immensely. Delighting in discovering each new herd, each new bull. I slowly became acquainted with their different names, and how they’d been given their names. All four hundred odd elephants here had names. How weird, I thought at first. I watched where they wandered, what they ate, what creatures surrounded the elephants and followed them. I watched the divine and intricate connection of the whole ecosystem, and was intrigued beyond words. I watched closely all that which so depended on the elephant’s existence in this intricate world, and vice verse all that he depended on.

While growing in all this new knowledge and experience and comparing it intensely to the areas I’d worked before, I slowly began to fall in love with the uniqueness of it all. There was something ringing in the air that I new sub consciously would change my outlook on life forever. There was definitely a secret here waiting to be discovered, and I felt in so many ways, that at last, I’d come home.

While this new world surrounded me, I didn’t notice that even from the first day the elephants had begun to enter my realm. Slowly they were sneaking into my spiritual existence without my knowing. I took everything on the surface, noticing the amazing coincidences with them, how through certain situations I picked favorite individuals and favorite families. Deeply, and willingly, the elephants began t absorb me in every way.

Since I left school and studied my profession, and now while I busied myself with what I enjoyed so much, I never regretted a day in nature. It seemed I would always know what I wanted. I wanted to be out in the wilderness, surrounded by the animals, where everything made sense to me and seemed like common logic. I wanted to be with people. I wanted to tell them and teach them about my amazing discoveries, share with them my passions, and most of all give them hope. Tune them into a world where all that is good and peaceful makes sense, and that we are divinely connected with something more than we are.
While I always knew my role in life was to teach in this way and act as a medium between people and the living world, my true purpose only began to become clear when I arrived at Gorah. This place, with its unique connection to the elephants would teach me just how real my journey was, and just how intricate my teachings would become.

The elephants first gave me a deep understanding. An understanding of how all is connected. In their world here, I truly began to grow and appreciation for all things great and small. The more I seemed to understand the small things, the more the elephants made sense to me. But I studied them mostly. Everything about them. How their feet worked, what role their ears played. I studied the technical knowledge, of their skin makeup, their eyes, and their brains. I studied their behavior, although I admit after all these years, still couldn’t say always what was happening. As I learnt about the elephant, I learnt about myself. I saw how intricately they balanced love and discipline, I saw how they played. Time and time again I was accused of anthropomorphizing the elephants, but it was so real for me. I could sense their joy in the mud hole; I could sense their sorrow at a lost one. I could sense their pleasure for the soft green grass when they rolled in it, and I could see the despair on their faces when they arrived at a waterhole after a long journey only to find it was dry. I became so in tune with them that I soon understood where they’d move to after the rains, and when it was dry. I could sense when a new birth was on the way and when a young female was coming into estrus for the first time. At times my colleagues were confused by how well I knew the elephants. Some thought it coincidence. Some hated it, others respected it. I personally loved it.

At first I thought my understanding of the elephants and the knowledge I had acquired of them over the years was all learned. I read a lot about them, but soon I realized much of it seemed to just be common sense. The more I looked at it logically the clearer the print became. The more I accepted them spiritually, the more in tune I became with their world.

My passion and trust in this in-depth faith I have to admit wavered at times. Sometimes I was so certain of its existence that I would talk on for hours, having people believe my every word. At other times people would doubt if all I said was true, and through this I would doubt my self. The further I put myself from the elephants, the further it seemed they would go.

In the end, after another distant journey from them, I came to realize that nothing was a coincidence any more. And that when I took to fully believing in this spiritual existence, and that with all my heart and mind believed that I could in fact talk to the elephants, I saw it clearly. All the faith was in me. I strung up all those ‘strange coincidences’ wrote them down and told a story. I never stated a conclusion. I never stated my belief. But what I felt inside was real. Time after time, coincidence after coincidence would reveal itself to me.

I continue to talk about the elephants. Sometimes factually, sometimes spiritually. What people choose to take from me is as a medium is up to them. I for one believe in the spiritual world of the elephants. I believe that we can communicate with them. I believe in their divine existence. I continue to feel comforted by them, their amazing aura, their divine comfort and protection, their intricate sense of humor. And I love them. From story to story, moment-to-moment, and later year-to-year at Gorah, my truth became known. Is it that we choose to connect in a divine presence to have faith in something bigger than we are, or is it simply a choice we make. Are we content with whatever path we choose?
Either way, here are some of my stories, my strange coincidences. Reap from them what you may. Elephants are known to have an amazing sense of humor, intuitive knowledge, deep love, and above all an attraction to the human inquisitiveness around the world. Reap what you may…

2009-05-16T05:11:00.001-07:00

There is 3 options....'funny'...'interesting'...and 'cool'......my dear Nics , not one word can describe your story.....not ten or even a hundred......its is so fantastic....awesome.....I don't have the words....brilliant.....feeling that presence of Valli...that rumble...the majestical world of the elephant....I didn't know you were "a elephant whisperer".....till now, but would like to know you better!!!!.... Phillip Keevy

2009-05-16T03:28:00.000-07:00

“What powerfully gentle words, you write in such an evocative manner so as to take the reader right into the Addo bush among the elephants with you and we can hear the grass breaking from the earth. Thank you for sharing such a magnificent moment.” Inge

Elephant Spirituality: Avryl, the Elephant Matriarch at the Carcass

2009-05-16T03:01:00.000-07:00

Avryl, the Elephant Matriarch, at the Carcass is the title given to my first and probably one of my most spiritual moments ever felt with a female elephant. Avryl is the oldest elephant in this area, and the matriarch of the largest herd that resides here. When this situation happened one afternoon drive at the Carcass (a waterhole named so after the death of an elephant occurred here, his carcass remains here) I was not yet familiar with this elephant matriarch or her family, and on encountering the herd drinking at the reservoir, I had no idea who Avryl was, never mind any of the large females who reacted to me on this day. Avryl and her family have since through my time here at Gorah, become amongst my favorites, and it is Avryl whom time after time, I find myself in a situation I find difficult to explain in words.

On seeing this huge herd of elephants down at the Carcass waterhole from a hill north of it, I was filled with incredible excitement, and as always, sped up a little to get a closer glimpse of these creatures I was slowly becoming to love more and more everyday.
Once I had approached the carcass, I slowed down to almost a crawling pace, and nudged my way next to the tree line to get a view of the elephants drinking from the small trickle of water flowing into the half full reservoir.

There were elephants of every size scattered all around the small tree enclosed area. Avryl’s herd at the time consisted of about ninety elephants from all ages and sizes. Many of the herd members had obviously finished drinking and had set aside out of the way to allow the others a chance at the fresh water. They hardly noticed I was there, and being late afternoon, the youngsters were all busy in their games with each other, their mothers and older siblings all feeding on the thick bush that surrounded us. Since there was so much activity I barely spoke a word. The guests had so much to see that they were all absorbed in their own photography and delight at seeing, for some, their first view of wild elephants in Africa.

Since I was not being asked any questions at this time, I turned to watch the wonder myself, becoming particularly amused by a very old cow standing a little distance from the rest of the herd. She looked tired but peaceful, and covered in dry mud which she had obviously cooled with earlier she now stood softly scratching herself ever so easily on the fence that surrounded the solar panel which powered the submersible pump. She was beautiful. Her eyes were set almost deeply into her forehead, the large deep indents above them giving away her age. Her eyes were filled with such peace, such tranquility, that it did not take me long ‘til I was completely transfixed by her nature and the aura that surrounded her.

It must have been some several minutes that I sat there in absolute silence absorbed by this peaceful giant that stood a little away from the herd, so at peace with whatever it was that she had achieved for herself and her family. In my mind I was admiring her excessively, complimenting her on her beauty, and soft look and even more the warm mellow recognition of the way she made me feel as I watched her. I wondered to myself on all the places she’d been and the things she must have seen in her lifetime. I acknowledged to the size f this family that she was apart of, and the incredible patience she must have in dealing with so many children and grandchildren alike. I didn’t realise then that this cow in fact had several great grand children as well.
In fact, I had become so absorbed in the energy and aura of this old cow, that I had almost forgotten the few guests that sat behind me admiring the other elephants at the water.

Suddenly two young males caught themselves in a bit of a squabble, and decided that the middle of the herd was the place to sort out their differences. In seconds, the older females reacted to their behavior, and began trying to scramble out from the tight squeeze between the thick bush and the reservoir trying each to get their own babies out of the way, trampling and pushing each other in the meantime. My first instinct was to start the engine and reverse out of the situation. This was the worst thing I could have done. Looking back, the elephants knew all along I was there, and even at that moment, I was not their threat, and by starting the engine, I only added to further confusion and pandemonium in the now restless herd. In their confusion three large females stepped towards my vehicle, one trumpeting loudly, all of them holding their ears forward trying to intimidate me with their actions.

It only took two seconds for the old female cow who I had sat admiring to step forwards. She came towards my vehicle, still so utterly at peace, grumbled and reached out to touch the three irritated females that stood so closely by me displaying actions of threat and irritation. As she touched them they paused in their actions, almost immediately as though touched by a calming force, their ears dropping suddenly from the forward threat position to hanging loosely against the heads. A few seconds later, as Avryl stood there, one by one they turned to leave me. Avryl uttered another grumble and soon, every elephant as calmly and as quietly as they all were when we arrived, they filed out of the small area and headed into the thicket.

Before long, the huge herd left no sign of being there, all in file leading one behind the other into the bush. All ninety of them. Only Avryl remained. She stood a brief while and looked at me, as calmly as ever, and then she turned to go. As she entered the tree line, she paused and took a second to look over her shoulder directly at me, and with that she left. Melting into the thicket behind her family, giving me the feeling that said, “I know you are not here to hurt my family, and I trust they will not hurt you.” All that remained was the wet soil and the surface of the dirty reservoir water still sloshing as it settled. And of course the guests behind me, in complete bewilderment as to what had just happened. But this time, not even I could explain. It was far too powerful for words.

First Day with the Elephant Bull called Valli

2009-05-15T05:12:00.001-07:00

First Day with the Elephant Valli

Valli was the first Elephant I actually saw in Addo. Way before the young bull elephant I met on my own in the vehicle while first identifying my spiritual essence with him, it was this elephant Valli whom I laid eyes on first.
It was my first afternoon drive, and being a new ranger to Gorah, it was essential to travel with my new colleagues on their drives in order to learn the new roads and the various facts on the area in which the elephants lived and all the creatures and organisms that associated with them in this ecosystem.
This first drive was with Darren, and being my first experience in this new area I was extremely excited at the concept of it all, and in so hung on Darren’s every word.

We drove down the main road towards the two Milkwoods, which were two very large trees that grew side by side. The two Milkwoods had grown famous in these parts as not typical to this area they had grown really tall and were amongst the two tallest trees in the vicinity. We turned onto Willem’s pad and heading towards the eastern boundary. The area we were in was particularly open and vast. The plains, although now an established grassland ecosystem were the scars of years of farming on this land. Large expanses of bush had been cleared to make way for the crops. At the time, these fields had rested for about twelve years, and the long grass offered an excellent home to a myriad of creatures, particularly the plains antelope. As we drove through the grasses, the sun still high in the sky and burning hot on our backs we rounded a crest and came to a pause. There he was, looming in the center of the grassy field, in all his majesty, and he was beautiful.

At quite a distance Darren paused the vehicle, and turned off the engine. He explained to his guests that this was a very new elephant to these parts and in fact was one of the two (the other two were still to come) bull elephants only very recently introduced from the Kruger National Park in the eastern parts of South Africa. His name was Valli M, a grand name granted in honour of Valli Moosa, the then Minister of Environmental Affairs of South Africa. His reason for being introduced was to help the resident herds with a fresh genetic line. He was one of four elephants from Kruger which would be brought to this area.

And there Valli stood. The only elephant for miles around in the vast open expanse of land. He was a particularly large elephant, and seemed so purposeful in every movement he made. The golden grass complimented the dusty grey sheen of his body, and his large white tusks, set even and far aloft from his face were no less than magnificent. He was a fine animal.
It was almost immediate, the fascination and awe I felt for this elephant. It was like a deep stirring, an awakening of something that had been asleep for a very long time. “Valli” I whispered to myself. “Valli”.

Darren spoke a while on elephants answering a few questions that the guests put forward. But I could only hear him in the background. This elephant bull had me intrigued. Sitting arms crossed over the door on the passenger seat, I glared at him, soaking in every detail of his intricately marked skin, his beautiful tusks, and the setting he was in.
Darren turned to me, and in a whisper said, “You have to be very careful of the Kruger Bulls, they are a bit restless, that’s why I’ve parked so far.”

I nodded, only half listening to what he was saying, and turned to look back at the giant bull that stood and grazed so peacefully in the field. I thought to myself, there isn’t an ounce of negative energy in this animal. All I could feel was the silent stir within in, like he was having an impact on me that he wasn’t even aware of.
As Darren spoke to his guests, I continued to repeat in my mind the awe of Valli M. I was saying over and over in my head how beautiful he was, complimenting him on his aura and mentioning the feeling he was having on me. I was confused in the sense of feeling so known almost, but I kept quiet.
After a few minutes in this fashion, the soft breeze blowing through the grass whispering secrets of eons and eons, Valli began to turn. Immediately I called him in my head, urging him to come closer, I felt a longing to just want to be closer to him, and I called him, again and again. He raised his large head, and began walking his slow determined walk directly towards us. Darren hesitated a while, but then stopped. He decided to wait.

Valli continued to walk towards us with determination, but his actions were so calming and so peaceful that I could feel Darren confused by the sudden change he was experiencing in Valli for the first time. “He’s not normally this calm”, he whispered to me, “lets see what he does”.
Without hesitation I beckoned Darren to stay, not knowing anything about the elephants here but going with a gut feel that the elephant before us was calm, and peaceful, but growing closer with every step.
And then we lapsed into silence, and the elephant bull continued to walk towards us until he was barely a few meters from us. And just like that, he paused and began to eat the grass that grew just next to us. Under his breath Darren whispered, I’ve never seen Valli like this before, it’s incredible.”

I couldn’t help feel the excitement of a wild elephant choosing to come towards us from out of the open plain the way Valli did, but I never thought much of it. He continued to eat there some meters away from my door for a good fort five minutes as the hazy winter afternoon sunlight touched his body in sheer beauty. We sat in silence enjoying his company, and when we left I had no doubt in my mind that Valli had just become my favorite elephant. The whole idea of him filled my body to the brim with excitement. His presence seemed almost to have a revitalizing effect on me. I didn’t question it, and just enjoyed the feeling.

Having learned that Valli M had only been here for a very short time, and the affinity of sharing this new experience together never left my mind. It was like Valli and I chose to learn this place together. We arrived here almost the same time, and while I greatly care to admit that mine was by choice and his not, the thought that I had a big and most beautiful animal to grow and learn aside made my childish thoughts feel good. I didn’t have to mention what I felt to anyone, they were mine.
And so I continued to share my thoughts with this elephant in this fashion for weeks afterward. Telling him of my stories and discoveries each time I saw him.
Many times after our first experience when I was out driving on my own, Valli would walk from out of a field to come and graze next to my vehicle. It was like he longed for the company I thought. From my first day I have always spoke to Valli in my mind, and in a way I know he listened. At night, when I felt alone or afraid, it was the image of Valli I sought out. Like a child in a fantasy world I would ride on his back, or walk with him through the grass, and I would talk to him. It didn’t matter to me that I was in a grown up world. This was my fantasy.

It was strange the coincidences that seemed to occur with Valli after that first day. Like whenever I was down, I would always encounter him on my drives. Valli would come to the vehicle and stand there. I have never experienced any negativity in behavior from him. Even when he came into musth for the first time, which is when male elephants are filled with testosterone and often known to be aggressive or ‘pushy’ in this time, Valli never showed a textbook sign of irritation, aggression or discomfort at my presence.
For months after Valli M would come and drink at the lodge, and on most times I would encounter him either on my way to or from work. Each time I saw him my heart fluttered with joy and I seemed to be boosted with a spiritual energy I couldn’t explain.

At first I never thought much of the relationship I had with Valli M. Indeed it was so that he was my favorite but I had at the time never explored the spiritual world of the elephants. It was only once I had begun experiencing odd situations and strange coincidences at other moments and with other elephants did I begin to look back in my journal. I realised then that there might have been more to my ‘chance’ occurrences with this elephant than I originally thought.
My Journey had begun.

Elephant Spirituality: First Day with the Elephant Bull called Valli

2009-05-15T05:12:00.000-07:00

First Day with the Elephant Valli

Valli was the first Elephant I actually saw in Addo. Way before the young bull elephant I met on my own in the vehicle while first identifying my spiritual essence with him, it was Valli whom I laid eyes on first.
It was my first afternoon drive, and being a new ranger to Gorah, it was essential to travel with my new colleagues on their drives in order to learn the new roads and the various facts on the area in which the elephants lived and all the creatures and organisms that associated with them in this ecosystem.
This first drive was with Darren, and being my first experience in this new area I was extremely excited at the concept of it all, and in so hung on Darren’s every word.

We drove down the main road towards the two Milkwoods, which were two very large trees that grew side by side. The two Milkwoods had grown famous in these parts as not typical to this area they had grown really tall and were amongst the two tallest trees in the vicinity. We turned onto Willem’s pad and heading towards the eastern boundary. The area we were in was particularly open and vast. The plains, although now an established grassland ecosystem were the scars of years of farming on this land. Large expanses of bush had been cleared to make way for the crops. At the time, these fields had rested for about twelve years, and the long grass offered an excellent home to a myriad of creatures, particularly the plains antelope. As we drove through the grasses, the sun still high in the sky and burning hot on our backs we rounded a crest and came to a pause. There he was, looming in the center of the grassy field, in all his majesty, and he was beautiful.

At quite a distance Darren paused the vehicle, and turned off the engine. He explained to his guests that this was a very new member to these parts and in fact was one of the two (the other two were still to come) bulls only very recently introduced from the Kruger National Park in the eastern parts of South Africa. His name was Valli M, a grand name granted in honour of Valli Moosa, the then Minister of Environmental Affairs of South Africa. His reason for being introduced was to help the resident herds with a fresh genetic line. He was one of four elephants from Kruger which would be brought to this area.

And there Valli stood. The only elephant for miles around in the vast open expanse of land. He was a particularly large animal, and seemed so purposeful in every movement he made. The golden grass complimented the dusty grey sheen of his body, and his large white tusks, set even and far aloft from his face were no less than magnificent. He was a fine animal.
It was almost immediate, the fascination and awe I felt for this animal. It was like a deep stirring, an awakening of something that had been asleep for a very long time. “Valli” I whispered to myself. “Valli”.

Darren spoke a while on elephants answering a few questions that the guests put forward. But I could only hear him in the background. Valli had me intrigued. Sitting arms crossed over the door on the passenger seat, I glared at him, soaking in every detail of his intricately marked skin, his beautiful tusks, and the setting he was in.
Darren turned to me, and in a whisper said, “You have to be very careful of the Kruger Bulls, they are a bit restless, that’s why I’ve parked so far.”

I nodded, only half listening to what he was saying, and turned to look back at the giant bull that stood and grazed so peacefully in the field. I thought to myself, there isn’t an ounce of negative energy in this animal. All I could feel was the silent stir within in, like he was having an impact on me that he wasn’t even aware of.
As Darren spoke to his guests, I continued to repeat in my mind the awe of Valli M. I was saying over and over in my head how beautiful he was, complimenting him on his aura and mentioning the feeling he was having on me. I was confused in the sense of feeling so known almost, but I kept quiet.
After a few minutes in this fashion, the soft breeze blowing through the grass whispering secrets of eons and eons, Valli began to turn. Immediately I called him in my head, urging him to come closer, I felt a longing to just want to be closer to him, and I called him, again and again. He raised his large head, and began walking his slow determined walk directly towards us. Darren hesitated a while, but then stopped. He decided to wait.

Valli continued to walk towards us with determination, but his actions were so calming and so peaceful that I could feel Darren confused by the sudden change he was experiencing in Valli for the first time. “He’s not normally this calm”, he whispered to me, “lets see what he does”.
Without hesitation I beckoned Darren to stay, not knowing anything about the elephants here but going with a gut feel that the elephant before us was calm, and peaceful, but growing closer with every step.
And then we lapsed into silence, and Valli continued to walk towards us until he was barely a few meters from us. And just like that, he paused and began to eat the grass that grew just next to us. Under his breath Darren whispered, I’ve never seen Valli like this before, it’s incredible.”

I couldn’t help feel the excitement of a wild elephant choosing to come towards us from out of the open plain the way Valli did, but I never thought much of it. He continued to eat there some meters away from my door for a good fort five minutes as the hazy winter afternoon sunlight touched his body in sheer beauty. We sat in silence enjoying his company, and when we left I had no doubt in my mind that Valli had just become my favorite elephant. The whole idea of him filled my body to the brim with excitement. His presence seemed almost to have a revitalizing effect on me. I didn’t question it, and just enjoyed the feeling.

Having learned that Valli M had only been here for a very short time, and the affinity of sharing this new experience together never left my mind. It was like Valli and I chose to learn this place together. We arrived here almost the same time, and while I greatly care to admit that mine was by choice and his not, the thought that I had a big and most beautiful animal to grow and learn aside made my childish thoughts feel good. I didn’t have to mention what I felt to anyone, they were mine.
And so I continued to share my thoughts with Valli in this fashion for weeks afterward. Telling him of my stories and discoveries each time I saw him.
Many times after our first experience when I was out driving on my own, Valli would walk from out of a field to come and graze next to my vehicle. It was like he longed for the company I thought. From my first day I have always spoke to Valli in my mind, and in a way I know he listened. At night, when I felt alone or afraid, it was the image of Valli I sought out. Like a child in a fantasy world I would ride on his back, or walk with him through the grass, and I would talk to him. It didn’t matter to me that I was in a grown up world. This was my fantasy.

It was strange the coincidences that seemed to occur with Valli after that first day. Like whenever I was down, I would always encounter him on my drives. Valli would come to the vehicle and stand there. I have never experienced any negativity in behavior from him. Even when he came into musth for the first time, which is when male elephants are filled with testosterone and often known to be aggressive or ‘pushy’ in this time, Valli never showed a textbook sign of irritation, aggression or discomfort at my presence.
For months after Valli M would come and drink at the lodge, and on most times I would encounter him either on my way to or from work. Each time I saw him my heart fluttered with joy and I seemed to be boosted with a spiritual energy I couldn’t explain.

At first I never thought much of the relationship I had with Valli M. Indeed it was so that he was my favorite but I had at the time never explored the spiritual world of the elephants. It was only once I had begun experiencing odd situations and strange coincidences at other moments and with other elephants did I begin to look back in my journal. I realised then that there might have been more to my ‘chance’ occurrences with Valli than I originally thought.
My Journey had begun.

Meeting the Elephants

2009-05-13T05:46:00.001-07:00

Having dealt with rather aggressive elephants in many other biomes, I am shaking at the knees before the young bull is even at thirty meters. He on the other hand isn’t aware that I am near. Or if he does, shows no indication that he does.
He grazes peacefully at the soft green grass, tearing at it as if in slow motion. An aura oozes off his giant grey body. He seems not to have a care in the world. And if intends to go anywhere, or has a need to do something before sunset, he shows no urgency for it. It is merely a peaceful existence. As though he knows his purpose, and in a way, knows mine too.
It is my first afternoon with the elephants in this area.
Around me the dense impenetrable thicket seems like a wall of jungle. Although I feel a stranger here, I can sense that the elephant feels happy here. It is his sanctuary.
In time, the Gorah would become my sanctuary too, and the elephants that surround her would teach me more than I ever knew about them, or myself for that matter, and of the amazing world they live in. I didn’t realize then, but as I watched the young bull feed in his peaceful existence that afternoon, that I would begin a journey that would change my outlook on life forever. Energy! That everything exists on energy. There is a spiritual connection that links us all, and everything into one cosmic being. How crazy the thought, that people could imagine they could talk to animals. The elephants would teach me this. That indeed, we can communicate with the natural world. In fact, we can communicate with anything once we believe we can.

It seemed here in this unusual place, that the elephants were as peaceful in their home like impala on the plains of the savannas in the bush veld and grassland areas in other parts of Africa. There was not that unpleasant aura of estrangement with the elephants here. It seems that their aura extended to include those that came to view them, rather than aggressively ensure that they don’t come near enough to even sense a part of their intricate lives.
There was a deep sense of trust. In a way they almost beckoned one to come a little closer, and at last understand that elephants were indeed greater souls than mere eating morsels. They were not just giant bodies that fed and fed and fed, and opened pathways and distributed seeds. Their purpose to being here was greater than that, as was mine.

It would take me three years to at last comprehend the intensity and depth of the elephant world. At first ‘strange coincidences” would occur time and time again, before I began to put the pieces of this intricate puzzle together.
At times I would doubt. At times I would convince myself that I were a stranger to it all, and if not perhaps a little on the crazy sometimes. When I no longer had the strength to keep the walls up, I would find myself comforted by this deeply spiritual world, and allow the elephants to at last envelop me in their aura, and understand, if for just a little while, that we are all so much bigger than we seem, apart of so much more than we understand. The elephants were known once as the Great People, and this truly is what they are. In time they taught me, that I too, was apart of a “Great People” and that we were divinely connected to each other, and everything else.

I sat alongside the young bull elephant, not daring to breathe. My mind told me that I was going against all logic, that everything I had been taught as a guide was being neglected, and at any minute the young tusker would bare down on me with his tusks. My heart raced. The thumping in my chest starting to ring uncontrollably in my head. The bull will kill me, I am too close, and he is too dangerous, I said. Over and over again.

My soul fought against me. That strange ‘go with you gut’ feeling began to take over. I wasn’t used to following the voice in my head. I felt I wasn’t experienced enough for that yet. I tried hard to ignore my textbook and trust my instinct. What if this time my gut is wrong. I didn’t move. He was too close, and I dared not even breathe.

All my faith was placed in the bull. I felt myself being drawn into a new dimension, one I wanted so hard to believe but one I can’t be certain to trust yet. It seems the bush is talking to me. Don’t move it says, I have something to show you.

The young elephant ventured close to me, his large eyelashes glinting in the sunlight as he picked at the soft grass which had sprouted after recently good rains. I was intrigued at the power he presented, yet which he chose to withhold. I was merely in the company of a fantastic aura, a hugely powerful being. He barely blinked an eye at my presence. A sudden calmness soothed me. I seemed to be the only one concerned in the situation. The bull, it appeared couldn’t be bothered with pummeling tusks into something so insignificant. At the moment, the grass was far sweeter.
I relaxed a little. Breathed a little. And in that moment, allowed for the first time, to willing let the bull into my own aura. I felt encompassed by an awesome comfort. His solitude replaced my own loneliness. For the first time I was allowing the myth to enter my realm. All that I had imagined as a child about elephants began to spill over. It was as though the awesome tusker in my dreams had at last become real. And in that instant, I was no longer afraid.

2009-05-12T02:30:00.000-07:00

ABOUT ELEPHANTS! ELEPHANT! ELEPHANTS! AFRICAN ELEPHANTS! AFRICAN ELEPHANT! ELEPHANT STORIES. ELEPHANT STORY. WILD ELEPHANTS. LIVING WITH ELEPHANTS. HAS YOUR LIFE BEEN TOUCHED BY THESE SPECIAL CREATURES..PLEASE SHARE YOUR STORIES AND I'LL KEEP SHARING MINE!!

Elephant Whispers... Special Encounters with Elephants

2009-05-12T01:03:00.000-07:00

Share and discover amazing stories with Elephants and how these animals are linked to an ancient sense of spiritual wander.... Inextricably combined with the human spirit, elephants have touched our lives for hundreds of years with their sensitivity, intriguing sense of emotion combined with supreme power of their wilderness. A creature that has been studied for eons and yet remains at large a mystery.
Here are some of my special encounters and I do hope to hear some of yours.

Warmest Regards
Nicola

Introduction

He was as wild and aggressive as an elephant could be coming from the Kruger. He was darted, captured, put on a truck, driven nearly 1200km, and released suddenly into a world he knew nothing about. All intentions were good, make no error. Valli had been selected as among the most magnificent of specimens to help with new blood in a new herd. The dwindling genetic variations for what is to me the most fantastic herd of wild elephants on the earth was highly pressured, and Valli among a few selected others, like his close friend Skukuza, also later a mentor to me, were the lifeblood of the genetic pool in this new home. No less daunting for the poor animal, but those who held him in their care, took every effort to ensure the journey was as comfortable, as quick, and as painless as possible for these animals. Baring in mind that many of their kin are still today taken so recklessly and purposelessly by poachers, or the often ‘necessary’ culling operations in their home area, these fine animals were spared from that, and entered a paradise in their new place.
Initially it was horribly foreign for me too.

Now, six years later, I sit alone on my verandah and weep. Deep, heart throbbing sobs. A crying that comes from so deep down, a core that in essence is just volcanic, and tears run down my face in streams, burning my eyes and puffing up my head. Around me the naked African Bush keeps silent and just listens. It doesn’t offer a sound. Before me, for miles and miles there is only darkness, not a single light burns, not a single foreign sound can be heard. Just darkness, and the thick impenetrable African bush which at this moment I am so happy to be lost in the centre of.
Here I don’t have to explain anything to anyone.. It is as though the earth knows who I am, and everyone in it that matters to me seems more okay with that than I do. I am free to cry here, and cry I do. I never feel alone.
High in the sky this massive ball of golden light edges gracefully between the clouds, her loneliness pulling at my heart even more, and still somehow, she has this way of making everything so magical. The moon has been my guide for many years, and even now, her ebb and flow pull within me, and stir my emotions even more.

It is dark and silent. The calm ever peaceful bush is silent. Not even the nightjars are calling, and still I sob, wondering if anything can hear me.
Mostly, I have come to love this loneliness. That tucked so deeply in a world which is actually my cradle, I feel free to cry. How many people can say that.

A branch breaks before me, and instantly I am reminded that once again, he is near. For somewhere lurking, never far, is the elephant bull who seems somehow by some fantastic coincidence, to just almost ‘follow’ my trail all the time, step by step, as though he knows my every move, my every thought…even when I don’t.
The silence breaks as his giant grey body moves between the trees and the hard shrubs rub at the dry dust caked on his skin. In seconds he looms out of the bush like a lunar eclipse on clouds, and his presence, as ever, is as powerful to me as though this is the Spirit God himself.
And here he stands beside me, finishing the branch he has taken to eat slowly, and deliberately as though he has all the time in the world. There is seldom anything that rushes this animal I have come to learn. My heart pulls at him for his magnificence, his beauty, his incredibly inspiring and capturing aura. He is amazing.

Before him, Valli carries a set of golden white tusks that are among the finest in these parts. The left tusk has a small grass groove near the tip from years of tearing up roots and vegetation in the same point. No doubt it will break off soon. At the base, his tusks are thick and solid, slightly stained by years of dirt. Even in the last six years that I have known him, I can see clearly how much his tusks have grown. He is a fine specimen.

In his left ear, in the middle of the edge is a small hollow C shape, having worn through a tear that must have happened a long time ago. With years of flapping and wind and trails through deep forests, this small cleft has become tatty and loose, but it is very distinctive, and has now become a very real mark to his id.
Not that I ever have to look at his ears to know him anymore. In fact, even though he bares these huge white gold tusks, I need not look at Valli to know its him. There is indeed a kind of walk he has, a distinctive proud deliberate walk that I have often laughed in saying is not dissimilar from the march of the Chariots of Fire. Still, there is more to this in him. It is his soul that I recognize first. A comforted feeling within me, a knowing. A deep connection that has formed over the years, and one that he recognized a sure bit before I ever did.

Hello Valli, My Special Boy, I say, ever welcoming his presence. Somehow, he just always knows when I need him. It is one of the fantastic coincidences I have come to trust with this great animal. And I cannot deny, that I truly love him for.

“Why do you cry so much” I hear him say. The voice that rings in my head so clear as it has for years now. “Valli” I reply, “its coming to an end” it will be time to go soon I can feel the air has changed. My job here is done. I have learnt everything I can. The wind is changing, and I know the time is soon.

Valli comforts me in presence and in words. He is always so wise, so real, his words so true. Even in times when great fear or great sadness surround me, Valli’s words are so clear and have always made so much sense. With him, he always brings incredible calmness, and incredible strength.

Write , he says to me, write. You need to finish this story by telling it he says. You are Ndlovukazi, the great she elephant, Ndlovu nthlope, the white elephant. Tell the story. Take from this sadness you feel and find purpose. There is no end, and there is no goodbye, it is just a continuation. Tell the story he says….

This then would be that story he told me to write. The story of a bond with a large Tusked and peaceful Giant who originally roamed the vastness of the Kruger Plains, he is here now with me at my beloved Gorah. We arrived here together, in the same week nearly six years ago.
I imagine our paths were different in getting here, and I suppose our ultimate purpose in being here also designed to be different. If for nothing else, as human and animal, often thought to be as closely linked as the moon and clouds. Entwined magically, but not evidence at all to suggest that they could be closer than that. Its just a feeling.

I feel the sadness of all I have been here, and all I became over the years. Of everything I discovered, everything I achieved, and now, its time to go. Just like that. That in a way every lesson has been learned, every challenge met. I have reached the pinnacle. And just like that, it is time to go. How could life just be like that?

I am the field guide, the ranger, the lodge manager, the elephant whisperer while I was here. I wrote all my exams, I reached all my levels over the years. I overcame my fear of using a rifle, in fact to the point that near this end, I achieved the highest rank attainable. Something I never dreamed I would do when I got here. I’ve run the camp. I’ve seen her in drought, and flood, and under threat of fire. I have been apart of her every waking moment. She has been a part of mine. In fact, so deeply intone I became with this special place, that everything I did no longer seemed just ordinary… it was always for a deeper and greater purpose. For all want of words, I feel completely in love with the place. And yet of every level, every experience, every discovery, every achievement, I look back now as I sob, and I realize the greatest thing of all. I learnt to trust the elephants. I learnt to speak their language. Six years of the most incredible journey lead me here. And all this while it was in the footprints of this incredible elephant called Valli that I walked.

Valli was the elephant soul who taught me my name. He walked with me a journey that describes the very essence of what it means to be alive. When first I stepped ground on this soil I would not have ever believed in such fantastic coincidences… only to have this elephant somewhat take me by the hand, and lead e every step of the way, slowly, ever patiently, bit by bit, lesson by lesson, until it all became clear, and all logic would melt away and reveal something totally new, totally exceptional. That indeed somewhere we are so intimately connected not only to these incredible pachyderms, but everything, one in time so tuned in with the other, if we just take one single moment, to trust in, and believe it.

This is a story about my elephant Valli M, my friend, my guardian, and the most handsome elephant that ever walked these plains. It is a story of romance, of love, of sadness, of childhood, of growth, of trust. Above all it is a story about me, and how Valli lead me to see the person I really was inside. Enriched are moments with other special elephants, special animals, and special people. The whole journey was one of discovery and growth. Through it all, Valli was there.

There are a multitude of stories that follow this first introduction to our new home. I was still a freshman, a junior in the ranks, and while I had been exposed to several years of the African Bush…I was yet to really grow up in it, to really feel, fall in love with, and become apart of the industry and the unique relationship a ranger is privileged to fall into when working in the bush.

Looking back now, as the tears run down my face,, the sequence of these stories are very apparent. How through time, Valli was teaching me, guiding me, into the very real essence of the spiritual world, in particular to the many secrets that the elephants have. The funny thing I have learnt is that these secrets, which so very many of us crave to be a part of, are not honed by the elephants….they long to share them with us. They wait patiently year after year and generation after generation for someone t listen. To just trust themselves enough that the voice they hear in their head is not their crazy mind, but the spirits of the elephants talking to us, telling us of the special connections we have with the earth. Their ancient souls that have traveled this earth for centuries have seen and remember all there is. The Great Guardians that were sent to protect. Over time we robbed them of their white gold, mocked them, killed them, sent them away, left their bodies to be strewn for the vultures, turned their young into circus animals, made them pose for photos without a second glance for understanding. And still they forgive us, and still they long to tell us the secrets of the earth. We betrayed that Guardianship along time ago. But still the elephants have chosen to protect us. It well known amongst these fine animals that anyone who still seeks for the guardianship shall receive it. Trust it and let it in.

copyright NSchwimC2006